Articles
Read my latest words and reflections helping you see what’s really happening — in mind, body, life and culture.
Something strange happens when we look back. A job or relationship we complained about. A home we couldn't wait to leave. A version of ourselves – younger, freer, less burdened – that we'd give quite a lot to have back for an afternoon. At the time, there seemed little to be grateful for. But in retrospect, we can often see how good it actually was. We were there for all of it, and somehow, we missed it…
There is a particular kind of disorientation that doesn't get talked about enough. It isn't depression, although it can feel heavy. It isn't a crisis, although it can feel destabilising. It isn't failure, although it can feel that way from the inside. It's the tunnel. The space between who you were and who you are becoming. The place you find yourself when the old version of yourself no longer fits — but the new one hasn't fully arrived yet…
Most people come to inner work because something isn’t working. They want to heal, improve, resolve, or finally move forward in their mind, body, relationships, or life circumstances. That impulse complete makes sense. When something hurts or feels stuck, of course we want change. However, what’s often less obvious is that how we approach change is equally as important as what we do to change things.
With three of my books having 'CALM' in the title, my online community being the Calm Clan, and training Calmologists via my Calm Academy for over a decade, it probably doesn't come as a surprise to you that I LOVE CALM! :-) But even after all these years, I still find it incredible how a simple shift in attention can change everything…
In this eye-opening article, I talk about my time in a spiritual cult, which I left in 2021. I share why the community was positive and beneficial for years, and how ‘love and light’ can turn dark - including how truth-infused spiritual concepts combined with love-bombing and charisma can be masking coercive control, manipulation and narcissistic abuse. This article is a must-read for anyone involved in spiritual groups, wellness communities, or those seeking a path of healing and even enlightenment.
Gaslighting is a term that’s getting much more exposure recently, but what is it exactly? Let me shine some light on the subject, so that you can know if you are accidentally gaslighting yourself or others, or are ever being gaslit.
Being raised by good parents and having what we consider to be a normal childhood, doesn’t always mean that we avoided the lesser-known early-life traumas that can be negatively impacting us, from the shadows, for decades. Keep reading to find out if any of these childhood traumas have happened to you, including Proximal Abandonment, Thwarted Autonomy, Parentification…
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Relationships can be such a tricky terrain to navigate because there are not even two people on Earth who are exactly the same and would agree on absolutely everything. With different upbringings, cultures, languages, beliefs, values, perceptions, opinions, preferences and even Gods – we may live in the same house, city, country or world, but we are seeing, hearing, feeling and experiencing as many worlds as there are people. But what if we aren’t meant to all be the same? What if we are designed to connect because we are different?
All my relationships ended in tears… when people I loved left me. Following a series of failed relationships, and after noticing that they would all unfold in a similar way, I wanted to get to the heart of the unhealthy feelings and behaviours that kept cropping up and messing with my capacity to hold down a healthy relationship…
Exploring the many states and levels of consciousness within us is known as Svādhyāya - ‘the study of The Self’ – and within that quest is often the attainment of what’s commonly called ‘Divine’ or ‘Christ Consciousness’. Although this is a wonderful goal to aspire to, after over two decades of dedication to this quest myself, I want to offer some clarification and caveats – so you avoid certain spiritual traps when ‘waking up’ and ‘knowing thyself’.
During January, we can often put a lot of pressure on ourself to get super active - creating new things in our life. The common slogan ‘New Year New You’ is thrown around a lot and we can feel obligated (guilt-tripped?) into immediately working to get our goals. However, this time of year - if you’re in the Northern Hemisphere - may not be the best time for you to be so active and busy doing so much. Here's why…
When I was a child, I snuck into the television room late one night, and watched the movie Jaws. It scared me to death! For weeks I couldn’t sleep; filled with fear, hiding under the covers. When my dad eventually sat me down to tell me that Jaws wasn’t in my wardrobe, instead, he was only in my mind and imagination, I didn’t believe him - because it felt so real. But he spoke the truth, and gave me one of the most important lessons of my life…
I once found myself stressed and suffering… while sitting on a beach in the Caribbean! I had travelled thousands of miles and paid thousands of pounds. I was surrounded by brilliant white sand and my view to the horizon was nothing but shimmering turquoise. And yet, despite the stunning setting, I found myself drowning in dread, despair and fear...
For decades, my desire for freedom was subtly creating a number self-imposed prisons that were severely limiting my life. Let me explain. Freedom has always been an important value for me. So much so, my need to always maintain freedom influenced the majority of my decisions, and I managed to ‘successfully’ set up my life so I would never end up stuck…
There’s an underlying force for good that affects us all; a dynamism I like to call Grace. I believe we are all standing [and living] in the river of Grace – always and especially when it feels like we’ve been deserted. Grace is influencing our thoughts, feelings, decisions and actions. It moves via our ideas, inspirations, intuitions, realisations and creative impulses. It can also arise as inner concerns, questions, or curiosities, and as external invitations, synchronicities and [both wanted and unwanted] life events and changes.
Perfectionism isn’t only about being perfect, it’s about never feeling good enough and doing everything humanly possible to avoid failing. Perfectionists can be high achievers, very self-disciplined, and possess great attention to detail, but it comes at a cost…
Love, or a perceived lack of it, can be found at the heart of the majority of my own and other people’s root causes that I’ve discovered and resolved using Mind Detox. Irrespective of what the presenting problem is, whether it be a physical condition, an emotional one or a life challenge, the antidote is most often love. And irrespective of the country, culture, age or background of the people from across the earth who I’ve worked with, love appears to be by far the most powerful force on the planet for bringing about miraculous healings and transformations…
In November 2021 I was awarded ‘Tutor of the Year’ by the Federation of Holistic Therapists (FHT). I was commended in the same category in 2012 and after a decade of discovery, I was given the top award. Why? I’ve learned over the years that creating an award-winning academy is not only about offering the best courses I can, but equally important, is the context within which the courses are taught. In other words, it is about the heart that goes into everything done and working with an awareness that love wins.
Ever heard the phrase: You Are What You Seek? For years I thought it was just some happy-clappy spiritual mumbo-jumbo. To be told that I was peace when I wasn’t feeling peaceful was not only confusing, but really annoying! That was, until I learnt meditation and started to experience a sense of inner peace - irrespective of what was going on in my mind. But don’t take my word for it… try this easy experiment…
Do you have a skin condition and don’t know why? I believe the body speaks the mind and have extensively researched the mind-body connection, along with the reasons why people develop chronic physical conditions. Before I share the common causes of several skin conditions, including acne, athlete’s foot, dandruff, eczema, fungal infections, hives, herpes, itching, numbness, psoriasis, shingles and warts, here’s a little background theory…
Are you concerned about ‘catching’ a cold, flu or virus, and want to remain more physically strong and resilient? Keep reading to gain a more empowered mindset towards bacteria and viruses, and learn about the possible mind-body connection causes of colds and flu…
Words cannot describe the relief that came to me the day I discovered that my memories from the past, irrespective of how bad or sad, were only accessible now via my imagination. Shockingly, the same went for my fears about the future. For years I had literally been scared by my mind and imagination…
What can we do to feel more empowered in the face of world events? How can we be less affected by the spectrum of economic, political, environmental and societal events? How can we move from being frustrated, upset or worried to making a more peaceful and positive impact within the world?
We may think we want to know ‘the truth’, but do we really? Although knowing ‘the truth’ may seem like an obvious thing for us all to want, there appears to be some pros and cons that come into play when seeking truth. Knowing these can help us to prepare for the possible consequences of finding out what’s true, and provide comfort when faced with the not-so-easy knock-on effects…
What if the secret to Self-awareness is the term I use for being aware of the aspect of your self that is aware. What do I mean by this statement? Inside you, right now, there is an awareness that is aware of this moment happening, including for instance, the words you are currently reading. Yes, your mind is reading, but your awareness is aware of the words on the page. See the difference?
I remember having a conversation with my original teacher of meditation (a great guy called Narain) about all the terrible things I saw occurring within the world. Sharing my concerns, sadness, and fear for the future of us all, he made a comment that caused my perspective do a 180-degree turn…
Encountering a range of emotions is an intrinsic and inevitable part of being human, however much we may wish we could flick a switch and turn them off at times…
Some people that I talk to tell me that ‘inner peace’ seems so far out of reach that they wonder if there’s any point even trying. It is my hope by sharing this list of 15 practical ways to increase inner peace that it feels more achievable for you. You may surprise yourself at how peaceful you soon feel…
Why is there more peace in the present moment? When you leave the moment to start thinking about the past or future, you almost immediately begin to feel whatever you are thinking about. If for example you are thinking about a sad past event then that is how to will feel. Or if you are dwelling on a time when you felt hurt, then again, that is how you will end up feeling…
Want some simple ways to immediately improve a relationship? For the best relationships, aim to focus on warming up your own side of the fence - instead of trying to fix, change or improve others so they are more loveable…
Why is my mind soooooooooo busy?!!! I know your frustration. With countless thoughts passing through my mind at a million miles per hour, I’ve tossed and turned through sleepless nights and found it near impossible to focus during work or play.
Want to change the world? Start with this meditation! It is easy to look out at the world and feel powerless with regard to our ability to make any worthwhile impact. It can all seem way too big a task to undertake or appear outside our control and in hands of others. However, if we allow ourselves to remain paralysed by our perceived powerlessness, then the world will end up being governed and shaped by the minority of people we give our power to…
Have you noticed how good it feels to know that you’ve made a positive difference to someone’s life? Even the smallest act of service can bring a great sense of satisfaction and fulfilment. However, have you also noticed how anytime you have a problem, it usually involves a lot of ‘me-type’ thinking? How is this going to affect me? How can I make sure they do what I want or give me what I need?
The classic strategies for enjoying a successful year usually includes things like ‘goal setting’ and ‘taking action’ etc. But what if there’s another way, a easier way, to enjoy a truly successful year - one that you love? Check out my 3.5 surprising strategies for a success year…
What’s the difference between a ‘normal and healthy’ experience of anxiety and an actual anxiety disorder? There are a number of different anxiety disorders, each with a distinct collection of symptoms. However, the most common symptoms include. Read this article to understand anxiety and learn a super effective quick start cure I’ve used to overcome my own anxiousness…
Over the years, the placebo effect has split opinion. I urge you to never dismiss it as “just the placebo”, which I often hear said. In reality, the placebo is by far the most researched form of “medicine” on the planet because every pharmaceutical drug has been tested against a placebo…
Around 40% of young people were bullied in the past 12 months, according to research by the Department of Education. I can relate to this stat because I was bullied for around six years at school - between the ages of 11 to 17. It was a hard time, but in hindsight, a helpful time too. Here's my story of being bullied and how it both hurt and helped me...
Some people enter your life for one reason and change everything. Dr Melanie Salmon was one of those people for me…